Dark Lords on Triwizard Tournament
by Ghostkaiba297
Summary: Palpatine, Sauron, and Voldemort enter the Triwizard Tournament after being soundly defeated by furries. Who will win? And who will survive?
1. Voldemort's Victim

**DARK LORDS ON TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT**

**Chapter 1: Voldemort's Victim**

"Do not lie to Lord Voldemort!" Voldemort's high cold voice struck fear into the heart of his helpless victim. Voldemort had already killed the victim's two friends and there was nothing to defend him. The victim was powerless to attack Voldemort.

"Please! I'm telling you, it's the truth!" said the victim.

"You lie," said Voldemort. "You are trying to trick me. No one can fool Lord Voldemort. My only weakness is my neglectivity of important details. But once I start creating Horcruxes, I shall be immortal."

_AN: This is an alternate universe, and I set it so Voldy has no Horcruxes… yet._

"If you kill me, you'll regret this later!" said the victim. "I promise you will!"

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Voldemort struck his victim dead with a jet of green light.


	2. Defeat

**DARK LORDS ON TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT**

**Chapter 2: Defeat**

Emperor Palpatine was inside his shuttle. Captain Granga was driving him to oversee the final construction of the Death Star.

Inside their Arwings, Fox, Krystal, Slippy, and Falco flew down a path, fighting off TIE Fighters.

"After Andross, this is easy," said Falco.

They reached the main reactor and began shooting it.

"Bringing shields up on the monitor!" said Slippy.

Fox shot a bomb at the main reactor. Slippy looked up.

"Wouldn't it be cool if the emperor fell in there?" said Slippy.

"What are the odds of that?" said Falco.

Eventually the reactor's HP reached zero. Star Fox got out as quick as possible before the Death Star exploded. The explosion narrowly missed Palpatine and sent his shuttle flying to Fortuna. Palpatine quickly escaped in an escape pod before the shuttle crashed onto Andross's nephew, Andrew Oikonny the monkey, and vaporized him.

* * *

Renamon made her way to Mordor with the One Ring. Sauron, whose fingers had not been cut off, led the group of orcs, goblins, uruks, trolls, and Nazgûl after her. But Renamon was too fast, too agile. She ran up Mount Doom.

"STOP!" said Sauron.

Renamon turned around. "DIAMOND STORM!" She shot diamond shards directly at Sauron. Sauron ducked, and the shards hit the Lord of the Nazgûl, vaporizing him and scattering many of the orcs.

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE LIKE MORONS!" said Sauron. "AFTER HER!"

Renamon reached Mount Doom. At this point the ring would make its owner want to keep it for themselves. But Renamon was a furry, and furries were 100% immune to the power of the One Ring, unless they're some sort of greedball like Pigma. And Pigma hardly counts as a furry because he is swine.

Renamon threw the One Ring into the Fires of Mount Doom.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Gollum and Pigma dove after the One Ring into the lava, and all three were destroyed.

Had Sauron's body been destroyed first, he would have perished. Nevertheless, he did lose a great deal of his power. Mount Doom exploded, but Renamon digivolved into Kyubimon and ran off, escaping the foundations of Mordor as they collapsed. Sauron grabbed the talons of a dragon as it flew by, while the rest of his empire was destroyed by the collapsing ground and lava.

* * *

Voldemort appeared inside some sort of barrier.

"What is this?" said Voldemort. "And why did I suddenly appear in that room?"

"Because," said Barty Crouch, "there was a service I required of you."

"Exactly what would you want with me?" said Voldemort. "I am the Dark Lord! I am He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! I am your mortal enemy! I am the one who twisted and warped you with fear!"

"You'll see," said Crouch. "I shall return you to your castle now."

"You're not going to kill me?" said Voldemort. Crouch had him at his mercy.

"I could," said Crouch. "But there's no need."

Voldemort did not know what Crouch meant by that, nor did he care. All he cared about was that he was going to live. And he knew that he would take over the wizarding world and kill Crouch. He would feel no remorse for it. He was Lord Voldemort.

Crouch warped him back to his castle, but there a terrifying sight awaited him. All his Death Eaters lay dead, defeated by Lucario.

"I shall destroy you next," said Lucario. And he blasted Voldemort full force with a Kamehameha.


	3. Dark Lords Gone Emo

**DARK LORDS ON TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT**

**Chapter 3: Dark Lords Gone Emo**

"So then they blew up the Death Star," said Palpatine. "It's going to cost a fortune."

"My One Ring is gone!" moaned Sauron.

"And all of my Death Eaters are dead!" said Voldemort.

"Defeated by furries," said Palpatine. He was a furry assassin before becoming a Sith Lord.

All of them drank in a bar so they could sleep. They pierced their tongues and their ears. They self-mutilated. They even competed in the Trial of the Long Knives, in which Sauron won because the other two fainted from blood loss.

"Let's commit suicide," said Palpatine.

"I don't want to," said Voldemort. He was still afraid of death. "How about we enter the Triwizard Tournament? I could beat it and it might help me get back to power."

"People die in this tournament," said Sauron. "I'm in."

"Me too," said Palpatine.

Palpatine, Sauron, and Voldemort walked over to Barty Crouch.

"DARK LORDS!" said Crouch, raising his hands.

"I'd like to enter the Triwizard Tournament," said Voldemort. "So would they."

"All right," said Crouch. "I'll set up the tournament."


	4. The First Task

**DARK LORDS ON TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT**

**Chapter 4: The First Task**

"The first task is dragons," said Crouch. He stood with the dark lords in a tent.

Palpatine reached into the bag and pulled out a red dragon with several tails resembling hooks.

"This is Hooktail," said Crouch. "She's an evil dragon and a vicious murderer who ate Koopas."

Palpatine didn't know what Koopas were, nor did he care.

Sauron reached into the bag and pulled out a snakelike dragon.

"This is Volvagia," said Crouch. "He's an evil dragon who ate Gorons."

Sauron didn't know what Gorons were, nor did he care.

Voldemort reached into the bag, knowing what was left. He pulled out an armored dragon.

"Argorok," said Crouch. "The Twilit Dragon. I don't know much about him. You must get past the dragon and get the golden egg."

Palpatine fought Hooktail first. Palpatine threw crickets at Hooktail.

"HOW DID YOU KNOW?" said Hooktail. "Feeling faint…"

"My master told me that a dragon named Hooktail got food poisoning by eating a cricket," said Palpatine. He raised his sword and sliced off Hooktail's head. He grabbed the golden egg.

Sauron fought Volvagia next. He raised a mace and smashed Volvagia's head in. He smashed all the eggs and grabbed the gold one.

"I'm taking marks off for that," said Crouch. "You're not supposed to do any damage to the eggs."

Lastly Voldemort fought Argorok. Voldemort grabbed Argorok and spun him by the tail. He smashed him on the ground and broke his armor. Voldemort pointed his wand at the weak spot on Argorok's back. "Avada Kedavra!" Argorok fell dead, and Voldemort grabbed the gold egg.

"Palpatine and Voldemort are neck in neck at 10 points each. Sauron has three, and the only reason he got any was cause he destroyed Volvagia."


	5. The Unexpected Task

**DARK LORDS ON TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT**

**Chapter 5: The Unexpected Task**

"WHAT?" said the Dark Lords at once.

"It's tradition for the three champions to go to the Yule Ball," said Crouch. "You must dance."

"Forget it!" said Voldemort. "I love no one!"

"Is there anything you're more fond of than anything else?" said Crouch.

"I suppose," said Voldemort.

"Can I call my girlfriend over here?" said Palpatine.

"Let's hope my girlfriend never returned to Middle Earth before I turned evil," said Sauron.

At the Yule Ball, Palpatine began dancing with the Wicked Witch of the West. Sauron was dancing with an elf named Crystal, separate from the vixen that fought alongside Fox. Voldemort was dancing with Nagini.

"Will you help me dominate the world once the tournament is over?" said Sauron.

"World domination?" said Crystal. "You're joking, right?"

"I'm the Dark Lord of Mordor and I want to crush all those who resist me. Will you help me?"

"He's dead," said Palpatine.

Crystal slapped Sauron. "Consider yourself rejected." She ran off.

* * *

AN: Palpatine's date was a reference to a blog I read about the three dark lords, and Sauron's date is a reference to the flash video One Ring to Rule Them All.


	6. The Second Task

**DARK LORDS ON TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT**

**Chapter 6: The Second Task**

"Find a way to breathe underwater," said Crouch. "Then dive down and rescue something stolen from you. Whoever gets back first will win the most points."

Voldemort cast the Bubble Head Charm over his mouth. Palpatine took one of the breathing devices the Jedi often used. Sauron put on a magic ring and transformed his head into that of a shark. All three dove into the water.

The Wicked Witch of the West, Crystal, and Nagini were tied to the ground. The Wicked Witch had a barrier around her attached by a chain. Palpatine arrived first and cut the chain and got to the surface first.

Then Voldemort arrived. He cast a spell to sever the rope and took Nagini to the surface. Lastly Sauron arrived. He swung his mace, but missed and took Crystal's head off.

Sauron got zero points for killing the hostage. Palpatine was now ahead with 20 points, while Voldemort was in second place with 18 points.

* * *

AN: I know this chapter was too short. Third task coming up


	7. The Third Task

**DARK LORDS ON TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT**

**Chapter 7: The Third Task**

"Palpatine is in the lead so he will go through the maze first," said Crouch. "Then Voldemort, then Sauron. The Triwizard Cup is in the center of the maze. Whoever gets to it first wins."

All three Dark Lords made their way through the maze. Palpatine was attacked by vines. He swung his lightsaber and decimated them.

Voldemort turned a corner and saw his own corpse. He ran as far as he could down a path. The corpse was a Boggart.

Sauron ran around in circles and began cutting through the maze with a mace.

Palpatine turned a corner and saw the Triwizard Cup.

Sauron cut through a wall and saw the cup at the end of a path.

Voldemort reached a corner directly across from Palpatine.

Simultaneously all three dark lords dashed toward the cup. Palpatine and Voldemort saw each other racing for the cup and ran faster. Sauron could hear them, and he ran faster.

All three dove for the cup and grabbed it at once.

* * *

What next? Stay tuned for the final chapter!


	8. The Fourth Task

**DARK LORDS ON TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT**

**Chapter 8: The Fourth Task**

The three Dark Lords opened their eyes to find themselves in a graveyard. The outside was protected by a magic barrier.

"What the hell is this?" said Sauron.

"Shouldn't we be outside the maze?" said Voldemort.

"I have a bad feeling about this," said Palpatine.

Suddenly, another Voldemort appeared.

"Oh no," said Voldemort. "Please don't tell me…"

"Who are you three?" said the second Voldemort. "You are impersonating me with Polyjuice Potion to scare people. I am not a joke. Avada Kedavra!"

Voldemort ducked the second Voldemort's green jet, and it hit Palpatine squarely in the chest, and he keeled over dead. Sauron tried to run, but the second Voldemort raised his wand and shot another Killing Curse at him. It hit Sauron in the back and he fell to the ground dead.

"I'm not an impostor!" said Voldemort. "I am you! You are me! Crouch sent you into the f…"

"Do not lie to Lord Voldemort!" The second Voldemort's high cold voice struck fear into the heart of Voldemort.

"Please! I'm telling you, it's the truth!" said Voldemort.

"You lie," said the second Voldemort. "You are trying to trick me. No one can fool Lord Voldemort. My only weakness is my neglectivity of important details. But once I start creating Horcruxes, I shall be immortal."

"If you kill me, you'll regret this later!" said Voldemort. "I promise you will!" He knew what was coming next, for he now knew that it was no impostor he had struck dead before. Now he understood the service for which Barty Crouch had wanted him. Crouch had teleported him into the future to be the fourth task for the Triwizard Tournament, and sent him back to his castle after Lucario had defeated his Death Eaters.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

THE END


End file.
